I have been asked to write more from my perspective. You know, the wife, the mom, the educator, the missionary, the woman. Doing it all in another country.
This sent me for a bit of a mental whirl. Why? Well - first of all, I don't think I'm that great of a writer. (I'm NOT fishing for compliments...) Second, I don't know how interesting my life really is to the rest of the world. Who wants to read about me trying to figure out how to get clothes dry in 80% humidity with no dryer? Who wants to read about me trying to figure out a NEW and EXCITING way to prepare rice and beans? Who wants to read about me trying to balance the needs of my family along with living in a third world country where I DON'T FIT IN no matter how hard I try? Who want to read about me trying to be a nice wife when all I want to do is run screaming for a place to take a WARM shower with water pressure? Sigh...
As a lover of books, I can see where it m.i.g.h.t. be relatively interesting to read about the above subjects. Also not wanting to completely blow off my friend's suggestion, I asked my international girlfriends what they thought I should do. :) (See - I can't even make a decision by myself anymore.) I posted a poll and for the most part they thought it was a good idea. One friend gave me a great metal picture of the fact that our normal might be a complete mind bender to others, so go for it. :) That was funny to me, a mind bender. Then I talked to my husband MORE in depth about it. (I did check with him first...) We talked about the fact that the reason that we support missionaries and the reason we want to know about missionary's lives is because we love THEM. We want to know how THEY are doing in all of it -work, life, spiritual life, family, - and not necessarily in that order either.
Here's the funny thing I've discovered after living in another culture though. Your LIFE and your WORK (ministry) co-exist. Always....Actually I think they should co-exist no matter what culture we live in but in my "A" type personality I like things organized, compartmentalized, and boxed off so nothing is too messy. Hmmmm...is this why my life now feels so abnormal??? So I am trying to be f.l.e.x.i.b.l.e. Have an agenda - not be ruled by an agenda. Have a plan - not sacrifice people for that plan. Change my focus so that I see the blessings (glass have full) not the 'drawbacks' (glass half empty). All while being a missionary. Gosh that's a scary thing.
Just the other day I got a comment. Something to the effect of the amazing life we have. This after a week of wondering if all I'm doing is living the same life in a different place and refusing to let it be of worth to the LORD because all I do is want something to change. Sigh...Confession #1. I've been a little too fondly remembering things. Little things like carpet, closets, hot water, dishwashers, clothes dryers, coffee dates with girlfriends. You know, looking at that greener grass over there. Oh boy. Conviction coming but did I see it? Nope - I was too busy coveting grass. Focus, focus, focus. I have been in a place of not necessarily doing anything wrong but sitting in a mindless stupor. EGADS. That is a dangerous place and I bless the friend that gave me a swift kick and reminded me that this life is not to be taken lightly OR without my armor. GET THEE BACK TO THE WORD DEAR!!!!!! PICK UP THE SWORD AND READ IT!!!!!!!!!!! Good friend, sister, mentor.
So as I work to live a life more disciplined, I realize that some of our living experiences are rather funny and I've discovered the amazing truth in the Proverbs...A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. (17:22). I have been trying my best to use laughter in coping with this life we have. I didn't necessarily say I was doing a good job at it mind you. These last few months have seemed very BIG. Very FAR AWAY. Very different. That's not really been a very pleasant place to be. I'm praying for God to restore my sense of humor. Why? Because I don't want to end up with a spirit that is just like crushed and dried up bones. We see piles of bones along the road quite often and they are a very good visual reminder. Gross but helpful all the same.
So, I invite you to live and laugh with me, or at me as the case may be, in the very basics of our life. Stay tuned.
Faith
5 comments:
Nice job, Faith. Many will enjoy your musings on a more personal level. I'm taking notes....
I'm glad that you decided to do this. I love reading about how people displaced from their own countries are living. Good job!
I think for many people the missionary life is something that is hard to imagine. What for you might be normal and boring, for others is interesting. I, for one, am very interested in how you "do" life in Honduras. It's important for people to hear your inner frustrations, battles, and how you work through them. That let's us know that you are "real" people just like us, who want to make a difference in the world. When we realize we are no different, we realize anyone of us could do what you are doing. Also, I think it's important to hear what you have, and what you do without. In an culture where materialism and overconsumption are the norm, we need to hear that people live different, and that maybe the way we live is not normal. What is normal for you, can speak to us in many ways. Don't underestimate the power your voice has...
Good. I am happy to see that you are writing personal and real. I know that this will be our reality soon enough and it is a blessing to me to have you share.
Faith, Honestly, I read your blog to see/hear/feel the things you are holding back from sharing. The day to day stuff. I want to see what it's really, really like. I'm glad you've decided to give it a try.
GfG
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